Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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