two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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