O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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