theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
