2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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