how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
