DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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