T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
