bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm just crazy horny about you
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
