he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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