So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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