the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
