So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why do cheetos always look like penises
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
