hotel room ftw
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
