just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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