I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
