i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize