I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
