It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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