I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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