just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
