Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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