Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize