What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize