he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
