Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
