just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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