Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
