Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
