So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
