Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
