The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
