you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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