and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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