Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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