Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
