now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
