Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She's the barista slut.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
