i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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