opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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