kristin has been a bad kristin
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
