Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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