literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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