i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
