i will never coherently bang her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
where are my eyebrows?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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