He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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