I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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