We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
