If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize