I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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