playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
