What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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