But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.