everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.