I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back