Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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  (401): This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan! http://tfl.nu/8a5r
  Replies (26) Good night (5188) Bad night (796)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament

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  (502): It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament http://tfl.nu/u7ze
  Replies (23) Good night (3129) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.

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  (215): I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart. http://tfl.nu/liah
  Replies (22) Good night (6843) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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  (920): He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car. http://tfl.nu/srqw
  Replies (38) Good night (10937) Bad night (1147) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..

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  (410): I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle.. http://tfl.nu/lwyr
  Replies (15) Good night (8304) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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  (512): He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay. http://tfl.nu/se3r
  Replies (25) Good night (1712) Bad night (3121) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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  (505): He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way. http://tfl.nu/qq0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (4554) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp

  (1-650): View more from California

  i loe djcudia fjxos rue.

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  (650): Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp (1-650): i loe djcudia fjxos rue. http://tfl.nu/pfpy
  Replies (15) Good night (2603) Bad night (954)
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  (707): View more from California

  there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.

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  (707): there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced. http://tfl.nu/voth
  Replies (28) Good night (1100) Bad night (5070) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head

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  (780): I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head http://tfl.nu/nc7k
  Replies (6) Good night (3086) Bad night (786)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

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  (781): Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge? http://tfl.nu/a35e
  Replies (1) Good night (1366) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK

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  (902): dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK http://tfl.nu/n8o2
  Replies (13) Good night (1178) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy

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  (614): making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy http://tfl.nu/o6e5
  Replies (7) Good night (2961) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

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  (801): If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke. http://tfl.nu/6dxv
  Replies (7) Good night (1546) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."

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  (817): one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog." http://tfl.nu/q8wu
  Replies (8) Good night (274) Bad night (799)

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