Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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