Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
