I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
