I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
