Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
