So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
