He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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