Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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