just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just had sex bonerless
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
