it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's always time for handjobs
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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